A few days ago, I was asked to describe my current spiritual state. "How is it with you and God right now?" It was a proper question but I found it hard to respond. Using nouns and verbs for my spiritual state is like trying to describe the colour “blue.” It can be done, but it will always feel “less than.” Dictionary language can’t encapsulate soul mysteries. But, we still have to find some way to communicate the things that are internal. The pattern of Jesus and the manner of Scripture is to express spiritual truths via metaphors. Imagination takes over when definitions reach their limit. So to answer the original question, let me offer a word picture that fits me, but is probably true for you as well.
My spiritual life is like gliding. God, in mercy, attached me to Himself with a cable of faith. He lifted my soul heavenward. While His Presence is always close, He releases me to soar. I am kept aloft by His breeze. I have the freedom to steer my direction, but only under the motion of His Spirit. I keep looking to the instrument panel of my heart, to know and maintain my bearing. At times, I am caught in an updraft of His calling and experience heights and views that fill me with awe. Other times I am buffeted by the storms of living. Most of the time, I just glide - carried by the motion of grace I have received.
I used to worry about the gliding times - times when it felt like maintaining elevation was all I was doing. "Shouldn't I be reaching altitudes of achievement?" In gliding, flight is achieved through dependence upon another. I have no power of my own. I am dependent upon Divine updrafts. I am learning to receive the trajectory God grants me. I've found that my attempts to elevate my position (as if I had power) often result in descents, rapid or gradual, and the occasional crash. Even then, the Lord of mercy pulls me up and renews my flight. Frankly, it is frustrating to have no engine. I am prone to pilot myself. I am bent to set my own flight plan. Yet, there is beauty in being carried by the rhythms of grace. I steer towards the place of His breath. I wait for merciful ascensions. I learn to rest. I learn to fly.